Single, Mid 30's still loves cartoons, sci-fi and Comic Books, Theatre, and Sex

Women, take a look at that guy you tell everything to

Do you remember in "When Harry met Sally" and they were in the car driving, and talking about why men and women can't be friends, because men really just want to sleep with their women friends? 

I find that men do become friends with women, because they are attracted to them, on some level.  I am going to admit that.  For the most part the women with whom I choose to socialize with platonically, I would probably have a romantic relationship with if the opportunity arose.

Which is why I believe I have discovered the collorary to the rule -

Women only become friends with men they do not want to date. 

By that I mean, women have male friends with whom they share things with on a very personal level, because they feel safe, they feel that this is not something that will be used  in a relationship somehow. I guess its part of the "nice guy" syndrome.

Of course, the nice guy isn't going to tell you this, so I will.

Ladies, if you have a single straight male friend, that you confide in, andhe genuinely listens, and has helped you through issues (especially dating issues) HE LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS.  He doesn't feel he wants to risk the friendship tho, because having you as a friend, especially a friend who you confide in and trust in so much is more important to him, so much so that he probably eschews other possible relationships.

There, I spilled the beans.

Ladies, could you help

    I haven't Blogged about relationships, dating, or sex in a while.  I have been a  wierd place for that recently

    I know a lot of my female friends read this and being the geek I am I have chart for you to look at here,  do me a favor (and remember I have a very thick skin) tell me where on the chart you see our relationship

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There was supposed to be a scale 1-5 on each axis, so if you could estimate, that would be great.

I would seriously want to know where you see me. I will then plot all the answers I get, and lets see if there is any trends in the data. Relationship status doesn't matter persay, but will be factored in to the results -

So either post a comment (heck post a comment anyway)  or email it to me - 

Most women think I'm the perfect guy...

...to take care of their sister or college roommate when they're visiting NYC.

I'm the nice guy. 

I'm the guy who listens, 

the guy who you can have a conversation with, about books,  movies, art

I'm the moral support,  the shoulder to cry on,  the handkerchief to wipe the tears from your eyes. 

The guy you call when you need a ride to the airport.

The guy who fixes your computer when you get that annoying blue screen, sets up your high speed internet, or hooks up you DVD player to play through the home entertainment system.

The guy who helps you move.

I'm the guy that you call when no one else wants to go to see a concert or a movie and you don't want to go alone.

I'm the guy you cancel those plans with when something better comes along

It really sucks,

but I won't complain

I'm too nice

A kiss is just a kiss

I had been thinking about this for a bit,  I had done some research,  extensive research in fact, about the history and significance of kisses.

But a lot of it is very dry,  for the subject matter, so I won't bore you with all that.  But I will share these things

1. I like to kiss,  very much,  i can do it for hours, and hours, with the right partner.
2. To me, a kiss is more intimate than most other sexual acts, in and off itself
3. I just want to take a moment to share this quote -

"A man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl, is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves"
- Albert Einstein

I am not mysterious person, am I

I know the wardrobe can be bit of a headscratcher, but that's not what I am talking about

I mean,  its usually pretty obvious when I like some one, right?  I always seem to make things to complicated. 

Do women want honor? 

I mean I know I can be quirky (shut up) but my intentions are never completely obfuscated.  Or does it just seem obvious to me because I think it is?  Let's be honest  I can over do the grand romantic gesture with the best of people? 

Wasting away in Margharittaville

Sorry, I know, Ihaven't blogges much lately....

Updates?  I am in NH for the summer,  working. 

Summer at the 'Vane.  Last night was Margharittaville, (i think thats like the 15th different way I have spelled that.)

Anyway,  normally this would be the first big party of the season,  it comes at the end of a very stressful week (4 mainstage shows, and a Patchwork family show all opening in 8 days)  and  then we all come home and drink, and dance, and all the usual party stuff,  and its a a great cathartic release, and its historically that time when everyone fully lets down there guard and gets to fully be themselves.

But the group this year has been very open and friendly and well, they are a bunch of partiers, so there was already several times where those walls were already broken down, so there was not the great release. still it was a very nice party. 

I got to spend some time with an adorable young lady, just talking,  and I was truely awed by how much this person has experienced already in her life, and her keen readings on people.

Because you all have been waiting with baited breath...

It's been a little while since I posted anything serious here.  I have been busy,

well that is not completely true.

I am not sure what I have been...

Anyway  as you all remember I have been getting back out there, and I had mentioned that there was some folks I had been interested in...

Well not a whole lot has happened on that front,  I thought things might be happening, but in the last two weeks I have become a total shut in.

The Philly girl, well she hasn't been in town since she spent the night.

I haven't followed up with woman who had recently broke up with someone when I asked her out, because, well because, its better thinking that she just wasn't ready to date someone than she just didn't want to go out with me... 

does that make sense?

Is it better to hold on to the fantasy? Or do I just bite down hard and know for sure?

Oh there was a third woman,  I have actually ran into her a few times, just on happenstance,  but I don't feel the spark when I see her.  I have a pretty good feeling that she would want to see me if I asked, but I don't think I want to lead her on.

OK, I am trying to get my motivation back for all things, work and play  but its slow going.  This haze, funk, despondency and listlessness has been holding me back.  But I don't even know why I have been feeling this way, its a vicious circle tho.  The dread has caused the anxiety which in turn cause more dread.

I don't think I can be happy with anybody til I am happy with myself.

I would really love some one could smack me around and tell me to snap out of it. 

Thoughts?

No time

No time for much, been busy with nothing lately (see other blog)

So the quick version,

Had a date last week, my second with this woman.  she spent the night, no sex tho, 
(that was planned that way)

Haven't confirmed a third date yet

Women are Challenges not Walls in my search for happiness

So,  I met this woman. 

I like her,  she likes me.  We both like baseball. (She's a Phillies fan  I can handle that...)

But I am David, so there are issues, One being she is based in Philly,  not that bad as long distance relationships go.  She comes to NYC reasonably often, and heck since the last 2 women I thought about starting relationships with both live in  places not easily accessible by Public Transit,  a trip to visit her in Philly would be at least as easy, and NJ transit trans and Amtrak are nice ways to travel

And then there's the fact that she is recently separated, not quite officially, legally single.  In fact that is something we haven't really discussed much, but we haven't really talked about what it is we are doing either.  Which is good,  keeping very casual. 

You would think a little thing like still being legally married would be the biggest problem in my head.  Nope,  and never mind the fact that she breaks 2 of the 3 rules either, the problem is this...
Now that I am getting comfortable getting back into dating (why hadn't I been dating much? leave a comment asking and we'll talk more about it) I want to date a few people.

In fact it was this woman's no nonsense style that help me get over my tendency to be in my head too much when it comes to women (well I am here blogging about it so I still am in my head some) But there is another woman in particular that keeps getting stuck in my head, and while I know I have a 9% chance of ever getting a chance with her, its that sort of lingering possibility that makes me ruin a perfectly good thing I have.

I think it has to be with me being the youngest,  I am not ready to fully relinquish my adolescent tendencies I think.  My Peter Pan syndrome.  But I am finding I can't get what I want and need in a relationship unless I get real about where my life should be going.

Its self sabotage...  I see the trail of impractical relationship goals that I have left behind me.  And is my Philadelphia Friend yet another example?

I know I like her, and I am comfortable with the casual nature we have now.  So I think, why not, let's just let it ride.

Regrets... A few..

So on my other blog I posted a few names of people I lost touch with over the years that i kinda of regretted losing.

Today one of those folks found me.

Brenda Jans was a high school friend.  One of those girls I wanted to ask out, but never did,  she then went on to date a friend of mine...

So today I get an email from her, which led to another which led to 3 more and a phone call and 5 more emails, and one more phone call which just ended.

Of course she is happily married and living in suburban NJ but its still fun to catch up with the old friends

Still  in the back of your head, there is always the what might have been...